This afternoon and evening I had the privilege of being one of the honored guests and speakers at Saroya Munnings’ “sweet 16″ debutante ball. Wow. Saroya is the daughter of Ken and Sandra Munnings, former next-door-neighbors of mine who are now just down the street from me (I was the one who moved down the block, not them). Months ago, Ken and I were talking about our kids growing up and wanting them to understand what that meant to us, and for them. He had already planned to have a sort of Protestant Quinceañera for Saroya, for her 16th rather than her 15th birthday, hence the odd name for the event. His invitation to speak grew out of that discussion we had, leaning over his fence one afternoon.
Here is the talk I gave, with a little bit of ad lib in the moment. (ask Sandra about the Power Beans!)
What a wonderful celebration! It is such a privilege to be here tonight with you. All the kids on our block have been talking about the party– everyone was either going to come or wished they were coming. This is the place to be tonight.
Let’s take a moment to consider exactly what we are celebrating:
~1 Saroya herself! You are a remarkable young woman, loved by your parents and friends, full of talent and potential. I see in you the diligence and courage that a person needs in order to fulfill their potential. That is the other thing we celebrate tonight–
~2 Growing up. Becoming an adult. Fulfilling your potential.
Growing up does not mean becoming sexually active.
It means becoming wise.
It does not mean ignoring your parents or “not letting anyone tell you what to do.”
It means taking on responsibility, choosing what authority you will follow and being loyal to that. (I recommend Jesus– and your parents of course)
It does not mean getting more and more stuff for yourself.
It means giving, creating, providing for yourself and for others.
Some of you arrived tonight in elegant cars. Not to mention Saroya’s limo-bus! I happen to drive a 1997 Ford truck, a stick-shift. I learned to drive stick when I was younger than you, Saroya; back then, half the cars on the road were manual transmission. To drive a stick-shift, you learn to find the friction point and let the clutch out gently, easing the car into gear, so it accelerates smoothly and doesn’t choke or stall.
That’s what your parents are doing now: not insisting that you take on all the responsibility of adulthood, popping the clutch on you, but easing you into it, giving you more and more responsibility as you are ready for it.
Tonight, with your promises of purity, loyalty and diligence, you’re officially in first gear of adulthood. Anyone who drives stick knows you don’t stay in first gear for long! Graduating from high school is like shifting to second gear; getting a college degree is third gear; career, marriage, and children is where you will shift into fourth and fifth gear. You will need the momentum you’ll build up in the lower gears so that you’ll have an easier time in the higher gears. Don’t skip a gear, or rush too fast through them! You don’t want to choke or stall.
To celebrate you getting your adulthood into gear, I have two gifts I want to give you: Wisdom, and Happiness.
My symbol for Wisdom is books. Wisdom is found in people of course, as well as in books. But some books, like this one, are especially rich in wisdom. (it’s not a Bible, I figured you had one of those already.) A book is just a person’s story, their thoughts and words, carefully chosen and prayed over.
A wise person learns from her mistakes.
A wiser person learns from the mistakes of others.
The wisest person learns from more than mistakes! She studies life and God and learns from success as well as failure. The wisest people I know all LOVE books. May this one be an enriching experience for you.
For me, Happiness is like… chocolate. Not just any old chocolate. These are hand-crafted with love to be a gift to others, not machine-made to make a buck. Like you, Saroya, each one of these is unique and different inside (and like true happiness, I’ll leave the contents a mystery, and let you taste them for yourself). There have never been chocolates exactly like these, and there will never be another Saroya exactly like you. You are hand-made by God, a masterpiece, “to do good works which God prepared in advance for you to do” (Ephesians 2:8-10).
Saroya, you have good parents, good education, good friends. God has prepared you well to do good works. You have, in Him, a future and a hope. As far as it is in my power to do so, I bless you with these gifts. [hand book & chocolates to Saroya, if haven’t done so already] Wisdom and Happiness to you… and happy birthday!
